Top 10 Reasons Why marriages fail: How to spot the warning signs early. Is relationship coaching necessary?

Marriage can be one of the most fulfilling journeys two people embark on together, correction, it is the most important and most valuable journeys you will ever take in our life. 

Yet, as rewarding as it can be, it's also one of the most challenging relationships to maintain, this is why relationship coaching is often imperative to ensuring the longevity and success of your marriage or relationship. When cracks start appearing, they can grow if left unattended, sometimes leading to an irreversible distance between you. 

Knowing the most common reasons marriages fail and recognising early warning signs can help couples take proactive steps to strengthen their bond and get the coaching and support that they need. Here's a rundown of the reasons marriages end and how to spot and address these situations before they escalate. We have listed them in order intensity.

1. Poor Communication:

The warning sign: You feel unheard, dismissed, or misunderstood regularly.

Communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship, and a breakdown here often leads to other issues. Over time, couples may stop sharing openly or start misinterpreting each other's words. Left unchecked, poor communication can turn into resentment or emotional distance.

Tip: Work on improving communication skills. This might involve setting aside time to talk openly, learning active listening, or even considering communication coaching, relationship coaching or therapy.

2. Loss of Intimacy

The warning sign: A significant drop in physical affection or emotional closeness.

Intimacy is crucial for bonding, yet many couples report a gradual fading of both emotional and physical closeness. This loss can result from stress, life changes, resentment or unresolved conflict and many other factors.

Tip: Make emotional intimacy a priority, even in small ways. Regular date nights, thoughtful gestures, or couples therapy can help rekindle intimacy.

3. Mental Health Challenges

The warning sign: Noticeable changes in mood, behaviour, or engagement in daily life.

Mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, can place a strain on a relationship. One partner's struggles can impact intimacy, communication, and overall connection.

Tip: Encourage each other to seek support through therapy or counselling. Working on mental well-being individually and as a couple can strengthen the relationship.

4. Unresolved Past Issues

The warning sign: Past arguments, disappointments, or traumas continue to resurface.

Old issues left unaddressed can create bitterness and disconnection. Whether it's unresolved fights, family issues, or personal baggage, these can reappear and cause ongoing pain in the marriage.

Tip: Commit to resolving lingering issues through honest conversations or relationship coaching. Clearing past hurt can help both partners move forward with a clean slate.

5. Different Parenting Styles

The warning sign: Constant conflicts about how to raise children or manage family responsibilities.

Gosh if we had £1 for everytime this issue affected intimacy and connection in couples, we could be Tesla, not A Tesla, the whole company! Parenting disagreements can lead to deep-rooted conflicts, especially if one partner feels invalidated or overridden in their approach to raising children.

Tip: Communicate openly about parenting values and find a compromise that respects both perspectives. Parenting counselling or parenting coaching can also provide helpful strategies.

6. Financial Strain and Disagreements

The warning sign: Ongoing arguments about money or secretive financial behaviours.

Money issues can be a significant source of marital conflict, whether about budgeting, saving, spending, or debt. Disagreements over finances can create a breakdown in trust and mutual respect.

Tip: Have open, honest discussions about financial goals and responsibilities. Financial counselling or setting shared financial goals can also be helpful.

N.B. This topic can be highly sensitive so if these conversations are non existent or one or both would rather avoid then relationship coaching might be really helpful for you.

7. Unrealistic Expectations

The warning sign: Feeling constantly disappointed in your partner or the relationship.

Even if the relationship started off on a good footing, high or unrealistic expectations can lead to dissatisfaction when reality doesn't match up over the long term. Over time, feeling let down can turn into a more profound, unresolved dissatisfaction, anger and or withdrawal and disconnection may result

Tip: Reflect on whether your expectations are fair and discuss them with your partner. Adjusting expectations and accepting each other's strengths and weaknesses can ease tension.

8. Neglect and Lack of Attention

The warning sign: You feel more like roommates than partners.

Life gets busy, but when couples start putting everything else before their relationship, it's easy for the partnership to lose priority. Neglect can slowly erode the relationship, leaving one or both partners feeling unappreciated or lonely.

Tip: Schedule regular quality time together. Whether it's a weekly date night or simply a daily check-in, prioritise each other. Check in with yourself too, often you are just running on absolute empty and have nothing left when you get home or when you partner gets home. Admit this and seek out healthy sources to fill your bucket so you go home with something to give rather than going home looking to get something.

9. Lack of Shared Goals and Interests

The warning sign: A feeling that you're growing apart or living separate lives.

Couples who don't share common goals or interests can drift apart as time passes. Alignment is essential for maintaining a strong bond, whether it's values, lifestyle, or future aspirations.

Tip: Find ways to connect on shared activities or long-term plans. Even small steps like setting mutual goals can help bring you closer.

10. Infidelity

The warning sign: Suspicious behaviour, secrecy, or emotional withdrawal.

The last of our important factors is infidelity, because infidelity is often a result of deeper issues within the relationship, such as lack of intimacy, validation, or respect. Infidelity is a symptom of pain, suffering and emptiness, which are the primary issues to ‘treat’. Cheating can create a deep rift in a marriage, often leading to trust loss.

Tip: If there has been infidelity, it's essential to address it openly and seek guidance through couples therapy or relationship coaching. Rebuilding trust takes time and commitment from both partners.

When to Seek Help

If you notice any warning signs in your relationship, know it's okay to seek help. In fact, reaching out sooner rather than later can make a significant difference in healing and rebuilding your relationship. At The Damn Good Listener, we specialise in helping relationship coaching and helping couples understand and work through their issues with empathy and practical strategies, to help them build the relationship they really want and our track record really speaks for itself. We aim to help you and your partner create a stronger, healthier relationship foundation, one conversation at a time.

Understanding the early warning signs of a struggling marriage is the first step. The next is deciding to act. Whether through open dialogue, professional support, or dedicated time together, remember that many relationships can be repaired and strengthened with commitment and the proper guidance.

We really care about what you are going through and you do not have to go through it alone.

Reach out right now for a free chat to see if we can help

ben@damngoodlistener.com or go to our contact us page or download or videos from the homepage and start learning a new way for free right now