Perfection saves peoples lives, in relationship perfection kills them

I was trained to design specialist parts of the Airbus A380 double-decker Aircraft landing gear. The A380 can weigh in excess of 560 tonnes when fully laden with fuel and passengers and the landing has to be designed to be able to withstand a landing weight of 386 tonnes, then stop the aircraft from travelling at 130 Knots, then steer the aircraft to get to the gate, as well as be light enough to not hamper the aircrafts performance in flight. It is one of the most carefully engineered pieces of equipment made by man.

The perfection is critical. Millions and millions of dollars are spent designing, manufacturing and testing this piece of equipment, thousands upon thousands of man hours go into the meticulous attention to detail that is the difference between life and death for over 500 people every single time the aircraft lands.

When it comes to our own point of view we humans LOVE being right, it was the difference for us being emotionally beaten to a pulp by the people around us when we were young. It was the difference between emotional survival (social status, fitting in, avoiding parental disapproval through our mistakes) and emotional death (being ostracised by peers, criticised by empty and afraid school teachers and parents). This being right protected us, but at same time can make us FEEL dead emotionally.

When we become adults we continue behaving as we did in the past, we are constantly making judgements of others to determine if we need to defend ourselves from the comments of others, the decisions of others, our body shape, our physical appearance, hair colour, driving ability, fitness, health, body art and so on. Being right was an important line of defence. Yet rarely does being right give us what we really want, which is a real connection to another human being.

When we find unconditionally loving sources and replace our fears with a feeling of love and real connection to people that we really trust can and do care about us, our need to judge others and more importantly our need and desire to be right disappear.

So when it comes to building unconditionally loving relationships, giving up being right and getting comfortable with being wrong gives us a great opportunity to foster happy, open and transparent loving communications.