How to prevent the ‘rising costs’ causing ‘rising friction’ in your marriage

Most of us right now are feeling the pinch of money pressure. Our income remains the same but the expenses of life have risen significantly in the last 12 months. Finances are one of the biggest causes of marriage breakdown so we'd like to give you our top tips for staying on top of your marriage and finances. 

1. Talk about them. Sounds simple I know but I have to literally drag Kerry almost kicking and screaming into a finance meeting. Let's be honest unless you're a bit of a nerd (like me), having a money meeting with your spouse is boring as hell. I've almost got sucked into the vortex of Kerry's yawns on many a finance meeting. But money meetings can be made fun, and should be. In fact in you'd like to read more about making money meetings more of an occasion you can read an article we were featured in a couple of years ago. In it we suggest making it a date. They can be fun, honestly... Right Kerry? Kerry...? zzzzzzz

2. Be honest. Unless you take an honest account of where you're at, you really won't know where you're at. You have to be brutally and fearlessly honest about your spending. So you had 9 coffee's out last week? What did that cost? Is that something you can afford? Did you decide to buy that many coffees when you made the July budget or was it an impulse buy? What are the reasons and the triggers for your spend of money? For me, after the emotional work I do everyday I like a sweet treat on the weekend, coffee and cake out with the family once a week, but this costs us £20 (if we're lucky), £80 per month on one brief visit to a coffee shop 4 times a month. I tell myself I deserve it but if I'm honest I really don't need it, and I get more from a walk in nature than I do a walk into town.

3. Cut back. I know, snore. But if you aren't able to earn more you have to spend less. Bake cakes at home instead of having them out. Share the cooking so that eating at home feels less of a burden to just one person. Have date nights at home. Walk more. Do puzzles, play games, take a ball to a field, build a den, camp in the garden, check out your local library. We are surrounded by wonderful free opportunities, we just cannot always see them through the constant barrage of adverts, cafe's and shop fronts.

4. Reduce your social media. Social media is brilliant isn't it? Brilliant at showing you exactly what you're missing out on and precisely what you need to buy or how you need to look in order to be as good as everyone else: "Oh look George has just been to Greece", "I love Betty's jumpsuit... she always looks so nice" "Wow I love Sharon's new kitchen". A constant stream of judgements, a constant reel of things you should be doing, and spending. So do your wallet, yourself and your partner a favour and reduce your use of social media, better still come off it altogether and have a break for a month, then assess the results - Was I happier? Did I compare myself as much? Do I feel like I should be doing more, going out more, holidaying more like everyone (its not everyone) else.

Don't take our word for it, take your own test.

Love

Ben and Kerry

Photo credit: Jonathan Borba